December 30, 2009 | by The Lark Staff | 42 Comments
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Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, It was a year stuffed to the gills with egregious behavior from spectacularly ridiculous people. With so many crude epithets at our disposal to describe these knuckleheads, none is so apropos as the one sobriquet that aptly describes quitters, hecklers, teabaggers, extortionists, and balloon hoaxers alike: douchebags.

Given the explosion of douchiness all around us, we had to dig deep to select these profiles in ignominy, but here they are -- our awards for this year's 20 biggest douchebags in America. Where can i order Erythromycin without prescription, And the Douchies go to...

1. Glenn Beck

Crying Glenn BeckIn an era of rampant right-wing paranoia, no one has done more to fan the flames of conspiratorial idiocy than FOX News Channel's Glenn Beck, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. A faux populist and self-described "rodeo clown," Beck is a champion for reality-impaired Americans everywhere who lack the ability to think, reason, or spell. Normally, someone fitting Beck's psychological profile would simply be left alone on a park bench to shout his unhinged insanity at squirrels and pigeons. But thanks to FOX News (and presumably regular injections of Thorazine), Beck commands a 2.6 million-strong wingnut army hell-bent on taking back America from all the gay Marxist Muslim illegal immigrant socialists running our government.
Douchiest Achievements: Beck accused Obama of being a "racist" who has a "deep-seated hatred for white people," which led to an advertiser exodus from his show (not to worry, buy Erythromycin online no prescription, he still has sponsors peddling penis enlargers and egg cookers). In his most laughable moment, Beck claimed he had deciphered a secret code proving Obama was trying to create an Glenn Beck Oligarhy"Oligarhy," which is a form of government that steals letters from illiterate morons and gives them to the wealthy few. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Other Beck conspiracy theories include accusations that the Obama administration has secret plans to force abortions and put sterilants in the drinking water to control population; use health care reform to recreate Nazi eugenics; and create a "civilian national security force" just like Hitler did. Beck is a man so passionate about his convictions that he won't hesitate to rub on Vick's Vapor rub to get the tears flowing so that he can sobbingly proclaim, "I love my country -- but I fear for it!"
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Declaring that everyone is Hitler, except for himself.
"Satan's mentally challenged younger brother." –Stephen King, describing Beck

2. Kanye West

Kanye West and Taylor SwiftYo Glenn Beck, Australia, uk, us, usa, I’m really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Kanye West was the biggest douchebag of 2009. Of 2009.
Despite his talents as a rapper and hip-hop artist, Kanye tends to be known more for his freakishly large ego than his music.  He once said “God chose me. He made the path for me, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. I’m God’s vessel.” God's vessel. More like the Lord's douchebag.
Douchiest Achievement:
At the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West cemented himself in douche history when he jumped up on stage to interrupt Taylor Swift's award acceptance speech. “Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of the year." Or something like that. It’s hard to remember what was actually said since the Internet was quickly flooded with so many spoofs of the event, where to buy Erythromycin. No less an authority than President Obama officially declared Kanye a "jackass Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, ." As Conan O'Brien joked, "Not since 'yes, we can' has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind." We're pretty sure that's why he won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010:
Anywhere but the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards.
“My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” –Kanye West

3. Jon and Kate Gosselin

Jon and Kate GosselinJon & Kate Plus 8 started as a peek into the life of a couple beset (through fertility treatments) with sextuplets and twins. The show quickly became a chronicle of serial emasculation, a testament to birth control, and a horrific meta-vessel of overexposure and gilded mega-breeder entitlement (e.g., renewal of vows in Hawaii, hair plugs for Jon / tummy tuck for Kate, McMultiplesMansion in Pennsylvania, shark-jumping crossover with American Chopper). Soon enough, Buying Erythromycin online over the counter, the Gosselins’ marriage cratered, TLC decided to dump Jon from the show, and then he blew up the whole gravy train – for the sake of the children, of course, and not because Big Daddy was getting cut out. (Hopefully, the TV residuals can help him cover the costs of the recent psycho-renovation of his Manhattan bachelor pad.)
Douchiest Achievements:
Kate: Multiple TV appearances where she expressed her heartbreak, clutched her wedding ring, reaffirmed her devotion to her litter, and turned on the waterworks; the Access Hollywood Bles8ingsouttake where she told her parched daughter to get her own fucking water bottle; shooting a pilot with Paula Deen (?!?) for an umpteenth clucking-hen coffee-klatch morning show (working title: Butter and the Beast); and, sweet Jebus, where to buy Erythromycin, having that hairdo on purpose. Jon: nailing any 20ish chick within a 500-foot radius, including schoolteachers, tabloid reporters, the babysitter, and the daughter of Kate’s plastic surgeon; taking a couple hundred grand from the joint bank account, presumably to replenish the roofies-and-lube fund; breaking free from Kate’s ballbusting shackles, only to submit to the 16-ton testes-steamroller that is Nancy Grace; fraternizing with world’s worst celebrity dad Michael Lohan and Ed Hardy good-taste assassin Christian Audigier, thus ascending to his rightful place in the newly-formed Axis of Douchebag.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010:
Not seen at all, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. (This is only Kind of a Lark’s and the western world’s most fervent hope. Actual results may, and likely will, vary.)
Any quotes from these losers would only feed the monster. We’ve got to draw the line somewhere. (For the sake of the children!)

4. Sarah Palin

Quitter Palin Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Most sentient Americans rightly concluded during the 2008 election that Sarah Palin was a blathering idiot. But in 2009, we learned that she is also a maniacal, Buy Erythromycin from canada, conspiratorial, paranoid douchebag who is here to stay. This, of course, is bad news for American democracy in general and Republicans in particular, who are still too busy ogling her mavericky caboose to notice she's leading them straight off a cliff. But it's good news if you're a Democrat who enjoys a spectacular trainwreck or a comedian who likes punchlines that write themselves.
Douchiest Achievements:
Palin claimed an Obama "death panel" could kill her child. She publicly trashed her daughter’s baby daddy (and fellow douchebag) Levi Johnston as part of a bitter feud that became so ridiculous, even Vladimir Putin couldn't believe what he was seeing from his house. She Sarah Palin Quitters Worldaccused David Letterman of being a pervert because of a joke she did not get, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. She published a score-settling work of fiction that was best summed up by a former McCain aide who said it contained "elements of truth underlying a narrative that is completely false." She gave her seal of approval to the "Birthers" (see Orly Taitz below) who claim Obama was born in Kenya, saying his birth certificate is "rightfully" an issue with the American public, purchase Erythromycin. She raised the specter of a Palin/Glenn Beck 2012 ticket, presumably because the world is going to end anyway. Not to mention the fact that she quit as governor after only two and a half years for reasons that only William Shatner could possibly make sense of. Quitter Palin somehow managed to out-laughingstock the laughingstock she became during the 2008 campaign, neatly encapsulated by the year's best bumper sticker: Palin 2012 – 2014 1/2.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Writing a second book titled "Going Shopping" and quitting halfway through.
"Only dead fish go with the flow." --Sarah Palin, quitting, July 3, 2009

5. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Nadya Suleman, aka"Octomom"

Nadya Suleman OctomomApparently taking note that when it comes to kids, the number “8” is a sure-fire laser beam to media success (“Eight is Enough,” “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” “Eight Men Out”, etc.), Suleman decided that the best thing she could do for her future as an unemployed single mother of six, was to pop out eight additional kids she couldn’t take care of.
Douchiest Achievements: Where does one begin. Where can i find Erythromycin online, Separated from her husband in 2000 because they couldn’t conceive children together…Already had overcompensated in the world of population control by having six kids through in vitro fertilization after the separation…worked in a California state mental hospital from 1997-2006 – probably would have benefited from some in-patient services…ran up a hospital bill between $1.5 and $3 million dollars that she can’t pay… was offered multiple deals to star in porno movies…had plastic surgery to look more like Angelina Jolie, then all the kids—all she’s missing is Brad Pitt and millions of dollars.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: For the love of God, doing anything but having more children.
“If I don't do what I need to do in the media to take care of and support the kids, I can't take care of them."

6. Michele Bachmann

Batshit Crazy BachmannRepublican Rep. Michele Bachmann represents the 6th district of Minnesota in the U.S. House of Representatives, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Those people deserve your pity, but they have no one to blame but themselves. Perhaps they should also blame God, who apparently told her to run. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Douchiest Achievements:
Bat-shit crazy often comes up when describing Rep, buy Erythromycin online cod. Bachmann. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, She’s not only against gay marriage, but against gays and lesbians themselves, saying they suffer from “sexual dysfunction.” Intelligent Design sounds so good to her that she believes it should be taught in schools, but if you try to teach volunteerism to kids, you’re creating reeducation camps. She called upon her supporters to slit their wrists in order to protest health care legislation, yet how will they pay to get stitched up. In a battle of nut jobs, she once took down Glenn “King Nut Job” Beck by arguing that taking the national census will lead to putting people in internment camps. Which makes perfect sense…if you’re insane. (Warning: staring at this video could cause you to become stupider, so watch through a pinhole in a piece of cardboard). To Bachmann, socialism might as well be the devil's work, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. She is against ANY kind of government handout. Buy Erythromycin no prescription, She will leap on her high horse and denounce ANYBODY getting aid from the government. So the discovery of her family farm receiving almost a quarter of a million dollars in government subsides makes you wonder if she is going to denounce herself. Perhaps call for an investigation into herself.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010:
Wearing an aluminum foil hat to sessions of Congress for fear of Democrats stealing her thoughts.
"During the last 100 days we have seen an orgy. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, It would make any local smorgasbord embarrassed … The government spent its wad by April 26.” (On a side note, a 100-day orgy is not too shabby.)

7. Tiger Woods

Tiger WoodsWhile fellow douchie Nadya Suleman felt 14 kids was the right amount, Woods felt 14 mistresses put the tiger in his tank. The world’s greatest golfer went from one of the most admired and respected athletes (if you call golf a sport and not a recreational activity) to the butt of late night comedians after admitting that he has not been the most faithful of husbands.
Douchiest Achievements:
Neighbors found him lying shoeless and snoring on his Isleworth street after he plowed his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree…Tiger Woods’ website buries any mention of his transgressions, but does advise to “play the chunk-and-run,” which in non-golf terms is another way of saying “bang a Perkins waitress in your Escalade, then dump her on the side of the road"…to his credit, most of the alleged mistresses look nothing like his hot, blonde wife Elin…lost millions in endorsements as sponsors bailed…real name is Eldrick Tont Woods which would make him a douchebag regardless of any other activities…athletic equipment maker Puma is considering signing Elin as a spokesperson for their new Swedish-inspired clothing line called Tretorn, order Erythromycin no prescription, which roughly translated means, “Tiger castration.”
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Golfing on some of the most beautiful courses in the world, earning millions of dollars in prize and endorsement money, and sleeping with a variety of hot brunettes. What can I say, Americans are a forgiving people.
“I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.” You think?

8. Carrie Prejean

Carrie Prejean PageantCarrie Prejean’s story is, Online buying Erythromycin hcl, at the heart of it, the result of a chain-reaction clusterdouche that was too big for the circus tent of the Miss USA pageant to contain. If Miss USA head honcho (and first-ballot D-Bag Hall of Famer) Donald Trump hadn’t decided to install Black Eyed Peas punching bag / John Madden of the jizz-telestrator Perez Hilton as a "celebrity" judge, Miss California USA Prejean likely would have skated through by the Vaseline on her teeth and claimed the big sash and tiara, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. But Hilton laid the gay marriage question on her and thus played midwife to the unholy test-tube spawn of Anita Bryant and Chauncey Gardiner.
Douchiest Achievements:
Her artless defense of "opposite marriage" (a G.W. Bushism-by-Proxy if ever there was one) and resultant 1st runner-up finish should’ve been the last we’d heard of her, outside of a future co-host job on "Fox & Friends." But in a country that likes its martyrs pretty, telegenic and self-inflicted (see: Palin, Sarah), Prejean of Arc found the Carrie Prejeangravy train of right-wing celebrity a more appealing option than the actual fulfillment of her Miss California USA duties. Pageant officials took back their title, St. Carrie sued them for libel, where can i buy cheapest Erythromycin online, and in the most literal case of tit-for-tat ever seen, they countersued to recover the cost of her breast implants. Our Lady of Christian Family Values settled out of court when pageant lawyers produced a video Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, of her rowing her little man in the boat ashore. Combined with all those pesky topless shots that emerged, that put a bit of a dent in the wholesome image deal (let’s see if she gets that conservative pin-up calendar gig in 2010). And when she topped it all off by achieving the impossible – making Larry King look like a hard-hitting interviewer – you knew Carrie Prejean had taken a sow’s ear of a year and truly turned it into a Golden Douchebag.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010:
In every Young Republican’s wet dream, and probably on Vivid Video’s website.
"I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants." – Prejean. Little did she know that an early translation of John 8:7 read, "He that is without sin among you let him cast the first synthetic sac of saline fluid at her."

9. Joe Lieberman

Droopy Dog LiebermanIn the long history of the U.S. Senate, never has there been a bigger back-stabbing, flip-flopping, soul-selling, cock-blocking douchebag than Joe Lieberman.
Douchiest Achievements:
As the 60th Democratic vote, Lieberman reveled in his roll as legislative killjoy, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Buy cheap Erythromycin, Nowhere was that more apparent than in the health care debate, where Joe-mentia held the bill hostage by threatening to help Republicans filibuster it to death if Democrats refused to meet his demands. Among them: killing the Medicare expansion, which he had supported three months earlier. Because that's what soulless, hypocritical douchebags do. His healthcare treachery was a fitting capstone to a decade of douchiness. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, In fact, every bad thing that happened during the last 10 years is basically Joe Lieberman's fault — from selling out Al Gore during the Florida recount to helping George W. Bush forward his agenda at every turn to being the leading Democratic cheerleader for the Iraq war to ensuring that thousands of Americans will die needlessly because they lack health insurance. Thank God Al Franken had the good sense to tell him to STFU on the Senate floor.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Being mistaken for Droopy Dog
"You know what is worse than being sick and not having health insurance. Having to sit through the Lieberman filibuster that kept it from you." –Jon Stewart

10. Teabaggers

Down With Sodomy, Up With TeabaggingMost people look up to teabaggers, and some gag just thinking about them. Oh wait, you mean we’re not talking about men who dip their testicles in your mouth, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. We’re talking about the right-wing conservative teabaggers. Yeah, those guys are dicks. They are the second most popular right-wing group inadvertently named after a sexual act. The first being the “Dirty Sanchez’s” famous for their anti-immigration stand. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, The problem is Tea Baggers don’t seem to realize that they aren’t original. There were people who stood up to an oppressive government, Buy Erythromycin without prescription, fighting the Big Brother tactics of the previous administration. Back then we called them “liberals.”
Douchiest Achievements:
Here is where you would normally read about all of the douchie things Tea Baggers did this year, but there are almost to many things to talk about. Someone once said, a picture speaks a thousand words (although in a douchebag picture, many of those words are spelled wrong). So instead please enjoy the following video from a teabagger rally that occurred this year and take in the full power of their douchieness:


Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Protesting public school funding. Their sign will read, “We didn’t go to skool, and we do just phine!”
: "Keep your government hands off my Medicare." --a confused teabagger at a health care reform town hall meeting in Simpsonville, South Carolina

11, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Mark Sanford

Mark Sanford CryingPopular governor of South Carolina who suddenly, and without word to any of his staff or security detail, disappeared for four days in June leaving the state without its chief executive. Thanks to Sanford’s notorious aversion to having a security staff with him, comprar en línea Erythromycin, comprar Erythromycin baratos, and the revenge motive of a fellow politician, the governor was discovered to have been carrying on a longtime-affair with a woman in Argentina.
Douchiest Achievements:
Told his staff that he was “hiking the Appalachian Trail” when in fact he was “banging the Argentinean tail”…Charged with over three dozen ethics violations including using state aircraft to attend one of his son’s sporting events..a subcommittee of the State Legislature recommended censuring Sanford for bringing “ridicule, dishonor, disgrace and shame” on South Carolina…Wife filed for divorce in December…released holiday message to South Carolina that began "This time of year offers each of us a chance like no other to refocus on what is really important in life – things like spending time with friends and family”…was the last governor to accept economic stimulus money for his state nearly missing out on $8 billion in aid.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Publishing his memoirs entitled "Argentina on 10 Ethics Violations a Day"
Quote: “I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light — but hey, that would be going into the sexual details ....” –Sanford e-mail to Maria Shapur

12. Robert Joe Halderman, aka Joe the Dumbass

Robert HaldermanOh Joe, Real brand Erythromycin online, to be a schlub of a CBS News producer who’s struggling to make your child support payments. Your ex-girlfriend, Late Show staffer Stephanie Birkitt, has broken your heart. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, But hey, what’s this in her diary. She banged her old boss, David Letterman? Goodbye deadbeat dad, hello alleged master criminal and would-be screenwriter. Two million simoleons can buy a lot of Happy Meals. What could possibly go wrong… besides, uh, everything, Erythromycin from canadian pharmacy.
Douchiest Achievements: Thinking that, after prior run-ins with a dogged and clinically insane stalker and a Montana handyman who plotted to kidnap his son, Letterman would roll over when confronted with evidence that he dipped his pen in Worldwide Pants’ ink. Also, asking that the hush money be paid by check, to sidestep any tax issues, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. (Well, at least he didn’t ask for an enlarged check delivered by Publishers Clearing House.)
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: As an uncompensated producer of most of truTV’s daytime programming, when coverage of his criminal trial begins. Canada, mexico, india, Quote: "I'm an employee in good standing, but should I be fired, mysteriously … If my house burns down … Any number of things that, I don't know this person (Letterman), I've never met this person, I have no idea who or what he is or is capable of." – Halderman, speaking to Letterman’s lawyer during "negotiations" to sell his "screenplay." Evidently, Joe suspected foul play in Larry "Bud" Melman’s disappearance back in ’93.

13. Rep. Joe Wilson

Joe Wilson You Lie Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Inspired by the teabaggers who spent the summer shouting down politicians at town hall meetings, Rep. Joe Wilson (R-Tourette's) attained his one and only note of distinction when he broke with centuries of decorum and heckled President Obama during a joint session of Congress, kjøpe Erythromycin på nett, köpa Erythromycin online. After Obama said illegal immigrants wouldn't be covered under health reform legislation, Wilson shouted "You Lie!", apparently believing he was on an episode of The Jerry Springer Show.
Douchiest Achievements:
Wilson, who was mentored by notorious racist Strom Thurmond and been affiliated with a neo-Confederate group for years, is passionate about stopping any government-run health care plans, except when he's busy being a hypocrite. As a retired Army National Guard colonel, Wilson receives generous government health benefits, as do his four sons in the armed services. Purchase Erythromycin online, And in 2003, Wilson voted to provide federal funds for illegal immigrants’ healthcare as part of the Medicare Prescription Drug bill. Way to stay classy, Old Yeller.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Fitted with a strait jacket and restraint mask at the State of the Union Address
"What's so ironic is that the health care plan that Joe Wilson so angrily opposes would get him the Prozac he so desperately needs." --Bill Maher

14, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Levi Johnston

Levi Johnston Playgirl PhotoHigh school hockey stud who, in a fit of perfect timing, knocked up Bristol Palin just in time for her mom’s selection as the Republican nominee for vice president, effectively castrating her “abstinence only” campaign platform.
Douchiest Achievements:
Agreed to pose for Playgirl magazine after breaking off engagement with Bristol, bringing new meaning to the phrase, “that’s one big zamboni!”…a high school dropout, he was working as an apprentice electrician before quitting that as well (seems like he would fit right in with the Palins) to try and become an actor…attended the Teen Choice Awards with comedienne Kathy Griffin…did a commercial for the Wonderful Pistachio company showing him opening a pistachio with a bodyguard nearby and the voice-over saying “Now Levi Johnston does it with protection.”
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Starring in a porn movie entitled “Johnston and his Johnson”
“I just get naked, that’s what I do.” – as told to US Magazine

15. Richard Heene, where to buy Erythromycin, Balloon Douche

Richard Heene Balloon DoucheFame, to paraphrase the late Rick James, is a hell of a drug. Even the pale kind of fame, the crummy street-grade shit cut with baby powder from the 99-cent store, can keep some fiends coming back for more. For a prime example, look no further than Richard Heene, the failed actor, Erythromycin price, coupon, financially strapped handyman and storm-chasing, UFO-chasing and attention-chasing crackpot with a checkered past. Heene wasn’t satisfied with two appearances on Wife Swap Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, and pulled his family into a ridiculous and unsustainable gambit. Alas, he neglected to remember the first rule of any dealer, be it Avon Barksdale or ABC: the customer’s first hit is free, but after that they have to pay and pay dearly.
Douchiest Achievements: First douchy achievement - naming his youngest son after a bird of prey. Then six years later, Heene untethered a homebrewed weather balloon in the Colorado sky and told 911 dispatchers that young Falcon had stowed away in the flimsy dirigible. After a frantic 50-mile chase, the balloon crashed with no sign of the boy, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal. Aw shucks, that lBalloon Hoaxittle scamp had been hiding in a cardboard box in the attic the whole time, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Too bad the tale got blown two miles high when Falcon reminded his dad during a CNN interview that they "did this for the show" – the show being a project Heene unsuccessfully peddled to various producers. (The theme song, however, is a crude garage-rock earworm.) After three days of a rapidly failing smell test – punctuated by poor Falcon’s impersonations of a mama bird feeding her nestlings – authorities finally declared the episode a hoax. Richard and wife Mayumi Heene pled guilty and were sentenced to a combo of jail and work release, with the special proviso that they couldn’t cash in with the media for four years.
Special Award for Supporting Douche Nozzle: A three-way tie between CNN, MSNBC and FOX News for taking the bait big-time on a patently insane non-story that any remedial physics student could have called shenanigans on in three nanoseconds.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Trying to flag down potential new clients in the Fort Collins Lowe’s parking lot.
Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, "It's the 20th anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down. Before that, Online buy Erythromycin without a prescription, the only way to get from East Germany to West Germany was your dad would have to put you in a balloon." – David Letterman

16. Health Insurance Companies

Denying ClaimsThe health insurance industry, for those of you who don’t know (and there are about 45 million of you who don’t) is an industry designed to help people in the time when they need it most. In theory, you pay them so that when you are sick or hurt you will be able to get the medical care you need…in theory. Of course, in theory, communism works, in theory. (Apologies to The Simpsons for hijacking that joke.)
Douchiest Achievements:
The health insurance industry fears being regulated and is doing everything in its power to keep from having to do the right thing, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. They are crying poor mouth to whoever will listen, saying reform will bankrupt them and hurt business, purchase Erythromycin online no prescription. Trying to hide the fact that they are making over $200 Billion in profits a year…that’s PROFITS, not revenue, PROFITS. Just for the uneducated (like this woman), profit is what you take home after you’ve covered all your costs. That includes the roughly $12.4 million paid to health insurance CEOs (median annual salary). They propagate lies about made up “death panels” using uneducated people to pass along the message (like this woman Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, ). The reality is, “death panels” are thriving under the CURRENT system, and the reform is trying to do away with them.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Bleeding Americas sick dry (literally and figuratively), Ordering Erythromycin online, in other words, business as usual.
"Exercise freaks ... are the ones putting stress on the health care system." —Rush Limbaugh, June 12, 2009

17. Sen. John Ensign

John EnsignAnother year, another member of Congress caught rocking out with his cock out. Big whoop, right, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. But this veterinarian-turned-lawmaker added primo vinegar to the water to make himself a douchebag of distinction. Hypocritical supporter of the Clinton impeachment. Check, buy cheap Erythromycin no rx. Denier of equal access to matrimonial misery for LGBT couples, while giving his own union a Cleveland Steamer. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Check. Fucker of a good friend’s wife who gets his daddy to make it rain strip-club style when the shit hits the fan. Somewhere in Florida, Carl Hiaasen wishes he conceived a plot that sleazy and improbable.
Douchiest Achievements: While Doug and Cindy Hampton are houseguests of the Ensigns after a burglary of their own home, Sen. Ensign begins his clandestine filibustering. After Doug (not only a friend, but an Ensign staffer) finds out, Ensign pulls strings to shunt him into a lobbying gig, an apparent Congress ethics violation, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Soon after, Erythromycin trusted pharmacy reviews, casino exec Mike Ensign (aka Pops the Fixer) showers the Hamptons with a $96,000 "gift" that fails to get disclosed to the Senate. Because they considered him a weak-willed schmuck who wouldn’t end the affair of his own volition, Ensign’s C Street / Family brethren watch him compose a hand-written, half-assed breakup note to Cindy Hampton, then chaperone him to FedEx to make sure the missive is delivered. They keep fucking for another half a year.
Special Award for Supporting Douche Nozzle: Fellow U.S. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Senator and C Street / Family crypto-fundamentalist-fascist Tom Coburn (R-OK), Coburn and Ensignwho counseled Ensign to pay off the Hamptons and then negotiated the details. When pressed to explain his role in the whole shitshow, Coburn clams up and claims privilege as both an ordained deacon and a physician. What privileged doctor-patient communications Coburn had with Ensign seem kinda hinky, buy Erythromycin from mexico, considering Coburn’s an OB/GYN. He’d have a stronger case if he were a proctologist.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: In one of the Las Vegas pet hospitals he founded, getting neutered.
Quote: "He has no credibility left." –Ensign in 1998, on Bill Clinton

18, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. Orly Taitz, aka "Birther Queen"

Orly-Taitz Birther-QueenA kind of superhuman who is equal parts lawyer, dentist, and real estate agent, Orly Taitz is the leading figure behind the "Birther" movement -- the reality-challenged band of conspiracy nuts who claim that Obama is a Muslim who was born in Kenya, Order Erythromycin online c.o.d, and thus is not eligible to be president.
Douchiest achievements:
Taitz went on a media blitz and hysterically waved around a supposed Kenyan birth certificate for Obama, acting as though she had found the Holy Grail. The document, which was riddled with errors, turned out to be a forgery created by an Internet prankster. (You, too, can have your very own Kenyan birth certificate, thanks to the magic of the Internets). Undeterred, Taitz went on to file multiple lawsuits in an attempt to overturn Obama's election, order Erythromycin from mexican pharmacy, and was subsequently slapped with tens of thousands of dollars in fines for "wasting judicial resources" with her "frivolous and sanctionable conduct."
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Parading around with an Obama Chia Pet in an attempt to prove he was spawned from seedlings that originated on foreign soil
"It's just a few cranks out there." --Ann Coulter on the Birther movement. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, When you're too nuts for Ann Coulter, it's safe to say you've taken insanity to a whole new level.
~Peter Andersen

19. Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney UnmaskedDick Cheney was President of the United States from 2001 to 2009. He was referred to as “Vice President” to throw off his enemies, but there was little doubt who was in charge. Just like with the Sith there is a Master and an Apprentice. Cheney was the Master.
Douchiest Achievements:
Dick Cheney spent the previous two terms in office inside a cone of silence. He didn’t speak to anybody about anything unless it was carefully thought out talking points, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. This year he had an opinion on EVERYTHING. Obama and the Democrats couldn’t cut a fart without Cheney weighing in. When Obama bowed to the Emperor of Japan, Rx free Erythromycin, Cheney called him weak. Although Cheney must have forgotten that his old boss, George H.W. Order Erythromycin with No Prescription, Bush, did the same thing. Hell, the senior Bush did Obama one better, and puked on the Prime Minister. Now that’s strength. When Obama discussed moving troops out of major cities in Iraq in June of 2009, Cheney went on record saying what a horrible idea it was. Lucky for us, Jon Stewart was there to point out that this plan originated with Bush. Cheney lashed out at Obama when the president promised an end to harsh interrogation techniques, saying it will make America unsafe, Order Erythromycin with No Prescription. It’s an odd statement considering those harsh “torture” methods were supposedly stopped in 2004, according to Cheney.
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: Overseeing the completion of the second Death Star, while finishing his book, “I’m Right, You’re Wrong. Now Go Fuck Yourself!”
This quote isn’t from 2009, but it’s worth hearing over and over and over again.

20. Michael Steele

AMichael Steelefter watching the Democratic Party position an African-American and a woman as their top two candidates for president in 2008, the Republican Party knew they had to react and react strongly. Their first move was to make Michael Steele the head of the Republican National Committee (RNC) and their second move was to elevate “the douche from Wasilla” (see Sarah Palin) to be their vice presidential nominee. Both moves have worked out just peachy.
Douchiest Achievements:
Attempted to modernize the Republican Party by bringing a “hip-hop” makeover to the GOP…after taking his position under the guise that he would bring the conservative philosophy to the young, Hispanics and African-Americans—by far the groups with the highest number of uninsured—he then joined hands with the Tea Party movement in trying to kill health care reform…Took heat from his own party when it was revealed he was collecting $20,000 per speech even while making better than $220,000 in his role as chairman of the RNC…claimed that the GOP argument against gay marriage should be that it’s “bad for small business.”
Most Likely To Be Seen in 2010: As guest host of "Pimp my Ride"
“We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.” –Michael Steele, Feb 19, 2009

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Featured, News & Politics, Political Humor »

January 26, 2010 | by Warren | One Comment

Order Chloramphenicol with No Prescription, It’s the end of January, and you know what that means. Buy generic Chloramphenicol, It’s time to get together with your friends, crack open some beers, Chloramphenicol price, coupon, Purchase Chloramphenicol online no prescription, and gather around the TV. It’s time to laugh and cry and shout obscenities. That’s right people, fast shipping Chloramphenicol, Comprar en línea Chloramphenicol, comprar Chloramphenicol baratos, are you ready for some State of the Union address. We are, where can i find Chloramphenicol online, Buy Chloramphenicol from mexico, and we’ve come up with a drinking game to prove it.

Obama Text

The rules are simple, where can i buy cheapest Chloramphenicol online. When any of the words or phrases are said, you drink the corresponding amount. If any of the actions happen, you drink the corresponding amount, Order Chloramphenicol with No Prescription. Chloramphenicol samples, Make sense? Good, then let's get our drunken State of the Union on, where can i buy Chloramphenicol online. Where to buy Chloramphenicol, Words or Phrases:

“Let me be clear” – sip
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“Scott Brown" – sip
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“Afghanistan”  - sip
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“Spending freeze”– sip
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“Special Olympics”– sip
“For the record, buying Chloramphenicol online over the counter, Chloramphenicol trusted pharmacy reviews, Ayla Brown is no longer available…if you know what I mean” -pound
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“Across the aisle” – sip
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“Unfriend”– sip
“Rectum. Damn near killed him, buy Chloramphenicol online no prescription. Rx free Chloramphenicol, HAHAHA” - pound
Obama Excuse me“Same-sex”  – sip
“Which is why I won the Nobel Prize.” - pound
“Party crashers” –sip
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“Tweet” – sip
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"Stimulus package" –sip
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"Bailout" – sip
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“Who dat?” – pound
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"Teabaggers" – sip
“Anal” – pound
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"Socialism" – sip
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"Bush's fault" – sip
“Hold on, Chloramphenicol for sale, Order Chloramphenicol online overnight delivery no prescription,   I just got a text.” - pound
"Acted stupidly" – sip
“I would like to commend the Supreme Court on their recent decision, and welcome our newest member of the Senate, purchase Chloramphenicol, Order Chloramphenicol online c.o.d, Senator Ronald McDonald.” - pound
"Underwear bomber" – sip
“So suck it Biden!” - pound
"Appalachian trail" – sip
“Excuse me while I whip this out.” - pound
"Snooki come up here so we can do shoots" - pound

Obama out of town

On-Camera Actions or Applause:

Shot of Michelle – sip
Shot of GOP member NOT smiling – sip
When ONLY DEMS clap – sip
When everybody claps - sip
When ONLY GOP clap – pound
When a member of the GOP is smiling - pound
Joe Wilson yells, “You’re telling the truth!” – pound
Kanye West interrupts Obama, buy cheap Chloramphenicol no rx, Where can i order Chloramphenicol without prescription, but then lets him finish – pound
Joe Lieberman gets up and switches sides of the aisle – pound
Teabagging – pound
Senator Byrd is removed from the chamber due to a “bomb” in his underwear – pound
A shot of Senator Brown watching from the cab of his truck – pound
Joe Lieberman gets up and attempts to filibuster the speech…and succeeds – pound
Nancy Pelosi never blinks – pound
Sarah Palin resigns from Fox News half way through the speech – pound
Obama pulls out a toy lightsaber and challenges Michelle Bachmann to a duel –pound
"The Situation" joins Obama at the podium for some fist pumping - pound
Barney Frank punches Snooki in the jaw - Buy Barney a beer.

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January 16, 2010 | by Warren | Leave Comment

It sounds to me like Utah State Senator Chris Buttars has some serious issues with “the Gays Order Isoniazid with No Prescription, .”  He’ll allow them to rent and own property, but anything beyond that seems out of the question.  Now, don’t get him wrong, he meets with “the Gays” here and there. Kjøpe Isoniazid på nett, köpa Isoniazid online, Hell, they were at his house two weeks ago, comprar en línea Isoniazid, comprar Isoniazid baratos, Order Isoniazid from United States pharmacy, and he’s TOTALLY not making that up. Just ask my girlfriend, buy no prescription Isoniazid online, Buying Isoniazid online over the counter, who you can’t meet because she’s from Canada, she was there when "the Gays" came over, buy Isoniazid online cod. Order Isoniazid online overnight delivery no prescription, Watch the video and see if you can pick up why Senator Buttars has a problem with “the Gays” (by the way, “the Gays” sounds like some sort of new Emo band)


I meet with the gays here and there, buy generic Isoniazid. Order Isoniazid from mexican pharmacy, They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays, Order Isoniazid with No Prescription. But I don’t want them stuffin’ it down my throat all the time…and certainly in my kids face.”

Now, Isoniazid price, coupon, Buy Isoniazid online no prescription, some might say this is a poor choice of words. I disagree, where can i buy cheapest Isoniazid online. Fast shipping Isoniazid, I say, this is just a man who is getting down to the meat of the situation.  Some people see this as a long, where can i buy Isoniazid online, Buy Isoniazid from mexico, hard conversation that, with enough massaging, buy Isoniazid from canada, Isoniazid for sale, will inevitably end up a hot sticky mess for the state of Utah.  Senator Buttars is trying to end it quickly, pre-maturely if you will, buy Isoniazid without prescription. Online buying Isoniazid hcl, Buttars Oral

He knows his style isn't popular, but he strikes me as a man who is used to cuming from behind and ending up on top.  He's called "the Gays" and Lesbians "the greatest threat to America going down" and compared them to radical Muslims.  I think deep down he's just trying to say, he wants THEM to go down, buy Isoniazid without a prescription, Isoniazid samples, because he's tired and doesn’t want them stuffin’ it down his throat.

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December 22, 2009 | by peter andersen | Leave Comment

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December 20, 2009 | by peter andersen | Leave Comment

10. The 7 Most Depressing Songs Ever Sung By a Muppet Order Viagra with No Prescription, (Topless Robot)
9. Top 10 Apologies of 2009 (Time)
8. 25 Most Embarrassing Political Moments of the Decade (
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6. 25 Awesome Cubicle Pranks (Holy Taco)
5. Top 10 Moments Caught on Google Maps Street View (urlesque)
4. The 15 Best News Bloopers of All Time (Huffington Post)
3. The 40 Funniest Protest Signs of 2009 (
2. 11 Sexy Photos Totally Ruined by People in the Background (11 Points)
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Featured, News & Politics, Political Humor »

November 24, 2009 | by peter andersen | One Comment

Sarah Palin Meets Her Double

Top Ten Captions For This Photo

10. "You look very familiar...have we met?" -Warren

9. Order Cephalexin with No Prescription, "I have seen the enemy, and it is us." -Mitch

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6. "In a surprising move, Sarah Palin shows up at Tina Fey's book signing." -Chagnasty

5. "Liz Lemon??, buy no prescription Cephalexin online. Where can i buy cheapest Cephalexin online, Is that really you. I could have used your 'Deal-breaker" advice last year." -Csilla

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Funny & Random, Sports »

October 24, 2009 | by fathead | Leave Comment

Tom Brady: Going to Hell Order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) with No Prescription, I’m not going to hell.

I live a pretty moral life overall—I’m good to my wife and kids, canada, mexico, india, Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) trusted pharmacy reviews, I volunteer in the community, I love animals, order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) from United States pharmacy, Where to buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck), etc. So I don’t think I’m hellbound, buy cheap Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) no rx. Buy cheap Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck), Not because of the things I mentioned, but because frankly, fast shipping Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck), Buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) from mexico, I don’t think there will be any room down there what with all these professional athletes clogging up the system.

That’s right, buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) without a prescription, Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) from canadian pharmacy, a bunch of professional athletes are all headin’ to the land of fire and brimstone, according to the Amazing Grace Baptist Church of North Carolina, purchase Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online. The church recently released a list of professional athletes that should be prepared for a future of devils, fiends, demons, and tax collectors, Order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) with No Prescription. Order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) from mexican pharmacy, Topping the Index of Ungodly Athletes is none other than that despicable, horrific human being, rx free Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck), Buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online cod, Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots, buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) no prescription. Real brand Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online, According to the church, Brady is number one with a bullet because he “is teaching us to have sex outside of marriage, where can i find Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online, Buy generic Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck), to commit fornication, don't marry and do the right thing, online buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) without a prescription, Online buying Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) hcl, don't take responsibility for your actions, have a good time no matter who you hurt in this world, order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online overnight delivery no prescription, Kjøpe Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) på nett, köpa Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online, go from sex partner to sex partner, and it's okay because of who I am.” Ouch, ordering Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online. Buy no prescription Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online, Torrie and SableBrady is not alone. The church has also selected retired Serbian basketball player Marko Jaric because of his crime of being “engaged to Victoria's Secret supermodel Adriana Lima.” The cad, canada, mexico, india. Order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) with No Prescription, Also on the list are wrestler Torrie Wilson who "committed an abomination by kissing a female wrester 'Sable' on the lips."

Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls is there because he "has long hair, which is disobedient to the Word of God." Didn’t Jesus have kind of a pony tail. Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) from canadian pharmacy, Rounding out the bottom of the list is Arizona Cardinals backup quarterback Matt Leinart for “teaching teenagers not to save themselves for their spouse, but to live it up because you only live life once.” Yeah … so, kjøpe Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) på nett, köpa Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online. Order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) from mexican pharmacy, Adam Archuleta and Jennifer WalcottBut my favorite is former St. Louis Ram Adam Archuleta, fast shipping Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck). Ordering Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online, This poor sap lost his job with the winless Rams and is now toiling for the Las Vegas Locomotives of this new football league called the United Football League, which for a former NFL player has got to be hell on earth, Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) over the counter. Buy Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) without a prescription, But no, the Amazing Grace Baptist Church wants to send Archuleta to the great down under because he’s “engaged to a Playboy Playmate, real brand Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) online, Buy cheap Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) no rx, Jennifer Walcott. They have one son, where can i order Levothyroxine (Euthyrox, Merck) without prescription. This is called fornication, and we all know what their son is called, the same thing the Bible calls him."

I’m hoping it’s Bob, but my good sense says that’s not what the church was thinking of.

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Featured, Funny & Random, News & Politics »

October 20, 2009 | by fathead | Leave Comment

Jesus, Crazy Liberal Order Nifedipine with No Prescription, We’ve all used, or at the very least, heard of Wikipedia—the user sustained “free encyclopedia” on the Web. Well, comprar en línea Nifedipine, comprar Nifedipine baratos, Buying Nifedipine online over the counter, thanks to columnist Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald, I have discovered the right wing version of Wikipedia—Conservapedia: The Trustworthy Encyclopedia.”

Wait a minute, Nifedipine price, coupon, Order Nifedipine no prescription, you say … you didn’t realize that there needed to be a right-wing version of Wikipedia. Well, order Nifedipine online overnight delivery no prescription, Buy Nifedipine without prescription, that’s probably because you’re a liberal commie socialist who agrees with all those so-called “facts” and “authenticated research” that pollutes Wikipedia. You see, buy Nifedipine from mexico, Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, according to the people behind Conservapedia, Wikipedia is a bastion of liberalism which is poisoning our country’s collective minds, online buy Nifedipine without a prescription. Buy Nifedipine no prescription, Conservapedia, however, Nifedipine gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, Purchase Nifedipine online no prescription, aims to put the truth out, as long as it agrees with a viewpoint shared by the religious right, buy Nifedipine online cod. As Pitts writes, “You may judge Conservapedia’s own bias by reading its definition of liberal: 'someone who rejects logical and biblical standards, Order Nifedipine with No Prescription. Nifedipine for sale, There are no coherent liberal standards; often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention, and who uses many words to say nothing.”

Since I don’t want to be accused of using many words to say nothing (although readers of my past columns may agree that description is dead on), buy Nifedipine online no prescription, Online buying Nifedipine hcl, I will just provide a little info on Conservapedia.

The founder of Conservapedia is none other than Andrew Schlafly, buy generic Nifedipine, Australia, uk, us, usa, son of ultra-conservative spokeswoman Phylllis Schlafly (you might remember her from my column on the conservative “hottie” calendar). Anyhoo, purchase Nifedipine, Where can i find Nifedipine online, this wingnut has come up with a site that is true comic gold—the "Comstock Lode" of humor as it were. Check out the "Debate Topics" section on their website, buy cheap Nifedipine. Order Nifedipine with No Prescription, There are 19 topics listed under the heading “philosophical debates,” six listed under “historical debates,” six more under “humorous debates” (example - Was the shooting at Virginia Tech somehow President Bush's fault. Buy Nifedipine from canada, – seriously, they think that’s humorous?), where to buy Nifedipine, Where can i buy Nifedipine online, 65 topics listed under “religious debates” and a whopping 88 topics under the heading “political debates” with the last topic being “Is Obama an Athiest?”

Conservatizing the BibleThe other thing that Schlafly and his band of loonies are doing is rewriting the Bible. Yes, buy no prescription Nifedipine online, Nifedipine trusted pharmacy reviews, rewriting the Bible. According to Pitts’ article, Nifedipine samples, Purchase Nifedipine online, the Conservative Bible Project proposes to "correct the Bible by creating a new translation based upon 10 principles … and to exclude ‘liberal passages’ they say were inserted into the original text. One such would be the well-known story of the adulterous woman brought before Christ by a crowd eager to see her punished; Jesus says the one without sin should cast the first stone.”

That darn Jesus—what a crazy liberal he was, where can i buy cheapest Nifedipine online. Where to buy Nifedipine, So if Wikipedia is a left-wing liberal whorehouse, and Conservapedia is an ultra-right wing, order Nifedipine from United States pharmacy, Rx free Nifedipine, religious clusterfuck, where do fair-minded moderates go for accurate, order Nifedipine online c.o.d, Nifedipine price, coupon, unbiased information.

Seriously, online buy Nifedipine without a prescription, where do we go. I’ll take my answer off the air….

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Featured, Funny & Random, List Mania, Movies »

October 8, 2009 | by Warren | 2 Comments

Order Lexapro with No Prescription, Video games are an active medium. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, You play them. You’re involved, Lexapro trusted pharmacy reviews. Real brand Lexapro online, Your actions decide the outcome. Movies are passive, buy Lexapro from canada. You sit, you watch, Order Lexapro with No Prescription. Buy Lexapro without prescription, No matter what you do, the outcome is always the same, buy Lexapro online cod. Where can i find Lexapro online, (Begin Sarcasm) How could combining these two possibly go wrong. (End Sarcasm)

Right now you’re thinking, rx free Lexapro, Ordering Lexapro online, “Warren, picking the 10 best movies based on video games is like picking the 10 best turds in the litter box.” Exactly, buy Lexapro online no prescription. Buy cheap Lexapro no rx, I didn’t want this to be easy. Anybody can pick the best of the best or the worst of the worst. Order Lexapro with No Prescription, I decided to pick the best of the worst…and not in an ironic way. Since these are all horrible films, I needed to find other criteria in which to like these movies. What have I gotten myself into, Lexapro samples. Buy Lexapro no prescription, #10-#6 OK, I give up.  There is no way I can find 10 movies worth picking.  Let’s just go straight to #5 and hope for the best., where can i buy Lexapro online. Buying Lexapro online over the counter, Lara_Croft_film#5 Tomb Raider- This mess of a movie lacked all the fun and adventure that made the games so great. The games where what the Indiana Jones games SHOULD have been (I’ll save horrible games based on movies for another time), Lexapro from canadian pharmacy. So how did this flaming mess make the list?  Two reasons: One, I needed a fifth film because I wasn’t going to do a “Top 4 List”, Order Lexapro with No Prescription. Lexapro for sale, Two, Angelina Jolie is HOT in this movie, order Lexapro online c.o.d. Where to buy Lexapro, I know it’s a sexist reason, but I’m desperate for reasons at this point, australia, uk, us, usa. Where to buy Lexapro, #4 Hitman – I love the Hitman series of games. It’s not about blasting everybody in sight (although at times it’s necessary), canada, mexico, india. hitman Order Lexapro with No Prescription, Most missions require a certain finesse. Order Lexapro from mexican pharmacy, Sneaking up on your target without making a sound and escaping unnoticed. The movie, buy Lexapro from mexico, Purchase Lexapro, in some ways captures this feel. The story is cliché, where can i buy cheapest Lexapro online. Buy no prescription Lexapro online, Agent 47 (played by the miscast Timothy Olyphant of Deadwood fame) is set up for a crime he didn’t commit…er, actually, Lexapro over the counter, Order Lexapro online overnight delivery no prescription, he’s set up for NOT committing a crime he should have committed. Basically ignore the story and take the movie in as a series of action packed events, Order Lexapro with No Prescription.

silenthillposter#3 Silent Hill – For the record, purchase Lexapro online no prescription, Buy generic Lexapro, I never finished the game Silent Hill. I was to scared. It is easily the scariest game I ever played, comprar en línea Lexapro, comprar Lexapro baratos. Buy cheap Lexapro, I could only attempt it during the day with all the lights on. Certain parts of the movie capture that creepiness, buy Lexapro without a prescription. Order Lexapro with No Prescription, The transformation of the town, the monsters, the music and sound (much of it from the game). Fast shipping Lexapro, Sadly, like the other movies on this list, the story is a mess. Something to do with a town burning down and the revenge of 90’s rappers…oh wait, that’s Cypress Hill.

doomposter#2 Doom – Doom is one of my all-time favorite games. When I heard they were making the movie with Dawyne “The Rock” Johnson, I was thrilled. I couldn’t wait to be disappointed…and I was not disappointed…because I was so disappointed. The game is about a marine who goes to mars to fight demons from hell. It’s like Aliens, only instead of Aliens, it’s demons, Order Lexapro with No Prescription. Piece of cake, right. Wrong. Total mess. The one saving grace of this film, and the reason it ranks so high on my list, is the end. Order Lexapro with No Prescription, John Grimm (played by Lord of the Rings Karl Urban), injects himself with some alien blood (don’t ask) in order to stop Sarge (The Rock,  again, don’t ask). For three glorious minutes we are watching a live action version of the game including HUD (heads up display) and Marine facial expressions right out of the game. It’s great.

ResidentEvil#1 Resident Evil – The Resident Evil series of games are classic horror adventures. I love them, probably because I love zombies. There are three Resident Evil movies, and in my mind any one of them belongs up here at number 1, Order Lexapro with No Prescription. The Resident Evil movie trilogy is essentially the Godfather trilogy of video game movies, except that Resident Evil 3 is better then Godfather 3 in a head-to-head comparison. The story of Resident Evil is simple.  Evil corporation is making zombies. The non-zombies are trying to get away.

That’s it. They are basic horror movies that just happen to be based on video games. The movies are far from great in the real world, but in the land of the blind the one- eyed man is king.

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Featured, News & Politics, Political Humor »

October 1, 2009 | by fathead | 4 Comments

Carrie Prejean Order Dapoxetine with No Prescription, Leave it to Republicans to screw up yet another American tradition—the pin-up calendar. Online buying Dapoxetine hcl, For the fifth year in a row, the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute (CBLPI), Dapoxetine gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, Order Dapoxetine from United States pharmacy, a conservative women’s group, is putting out its annual Great American Conservative Women Calendar, kjøpe Dapoxetine på nett, köpa Dapoxetine online. Where can i order Dapoxetine without prescription, And if you haven’t heard yet, the list of what I guess Republicans consider “hotties” is about as big a boner-killer as I can imagine, purchase Dapoxetine online. Order Dapoxetine no prescription, Leading the pack is defrocked Miss America Carrie Prejean. Yes she’s kind of hot, Dapoxetine price, coupon, Purchase Dapoxetine online, in a plastic, fake sort of way, rx free Dapoxetine. Not to say I wouldn’t consider having a quickie with her…as long as she kept her mouth shut, Order Dapoxetine with No Prescription. Fast shipping Dapoxetine, After Prejean, who is actually quoted as saying “As a former beauty queen, japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, Dapoxetine for sale, it's refreshing to be taken seriously,” the list gets really, order Dapoxetine no prescription, Buy Dapoxetine no prescription, really scary:

Michele BachmannMichelle Bachman – This Republican representative from the otherwise clear-thinking state of Minnesota has been described as “bat-shit crazy” on more than one occasion. Think of Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction … only loonier, real brand Dapoxetine online. Dapoxetine trusted pharmacy reviews, Bay Buchanan – Yes, that’s right, order Dapoxetine online overnight delivery no prescription, Comprar en línea Dapoxetine, comprar Dapoxetine baratos, Bay Buchanan. At the ripe age of 62, buy Dapoxetine from mexico, Online buy Dapoxetine without a prescription, Bay is considered one of the younger set in the Republican party. All I can say is “eeewww.”

Michelle Malkin Order Dapoxetine with No Prescription, – Showing that conservatives are a “big tent” sort of group, Malkin represents the hot little Asian who we’ve all fantasized about. Too bad she's a screeching banshee, where can i buy cheapest Dapoxetine online. Dapoxetine samples, Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter – Wait a minute, I thought this was a calendar featuring only women, buy Dapoxetine online cod. Buy Dapoxetine without prescription, Star Parker – More big tent stuff. Star Parker is an African-American woman who is a strong proponent of conservative causes, where to buy Dapoxetine, Order Dapoxetine from United States pharmacy, such as being anti-abortion…forgetting the fact that she herself has had four abortions.

And my favorite, Phyllis Schlafly … that’s right, Phyllis Schlafly, Order Dapoxetine with No Prescription. But wait, buy cheap Dapoxetine, Buying Dapoxetine online over the counter, I hear you cry, isn’t Phyllis Schlafly dead, buy Dapoxetine from canada. Buy generic Dapoxetine, No, but at the tender age of 85, order Dapoxetine online c.o.d, Dapoxetine over the counter, she makes Bay Buchanan actually “doable.”

Phyllis Schlafly

There are, of course, kjøpe Dapoxetine på nett, köpa Dapoxetine online, Where can i find Dapoxetine online, others on the calendar who frankly, I’ve never heard of, nor do I care to. I think as far as pin-up calendar photos go, I’ll stick with something infinitely more sexy … like Australian marsupials.

Note: The Huffington Post began their attempt to build a competing “Liberal Woman Calendar” this week. Check out their results here.

Mitch "Fathead" Cox is the author of "Fathead Goes to Chico" - one of the funniest damn books on college life you'll ever read..

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Funny Videos, News & Politics, Political Humor »

September 22, 2009 | by peter andersen | Leave Comment

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