We’ve all used, or at the very least, heard of Wikipedia—the user sustained “free encyclopedia” on the Web. Well, thanks to columnist Leonard Pitts of the Miami Herald, I have discovered the right wing version of Wikipedia—Conservapedia: The Trustworthy Encyclopedia.”

Wait a minute, you say … you didn’t realize that there needed to be a right-wing version of Wikipedia? Well, that’s probably because you’re a liberal commie socialist who agrees with all those so-called “facts” and “authenticated research” that pollutes Wikipedia. You see, according to the people behind Conservapedia, Wikipedia is a bastion of liberalism which is poisoning our country’s collective minds.

Conservapedia, however, aims to put the truth out, as long as it agrees with a viewpoint shared by the religious right. As Pitts writes, “You may judge Conservapedia’s own bias by reading its definition of liberal: ’someone who rejects logical and biblical standards. There are no coherent liberal standards; often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention, and who uses many words to say nothing.”

Since I don’t want to be accused of using many words to say nothing (although readers of my past columns may agree that description is dead on), I will just provide a little info on Conservapedia.

The founder of Conservapedia is none other than Andrew Schlafly, son of ultra-conservative spokeswoman Phylllis Schlafly (you might remember her from my column on the conservative “hottie” calendar). Anyhoo, this wingnut has come up with a site that is true comic gold—the “Comstock Lode” of humor as it were. Check out the “Debate Topics” section on their website. There are 19 topics listed under the heading “philosophical debates,” six listed under “historical debates,” six more under “humorous debates” (example – Was the shooting at Virginia Tech somehow President Bush’s fault? – seriously, they think that’s humorous?), 65 topics listed under “religious debates” and a whopping 88 topics under the heading “political debates” with the last topic being “Is Obama an Athiest?”

The other thing that Schlafly and his band of loonies are doing is rewriting the Bible. Yes, rewriting the Bible. According to Pitts’ article, the Conservative Bible Project proposes to “correct the Bible by creating a new translation based upon 10 principles … and to exclude ‘liberal passages’ they say were inserted into the original text. One such would be the well-known story of the adulterous woman brought before Christ by a crowd eager to see her punished; Jesus says the one without sin should cast the first stone.”

That darn Jesus—what a crazy liberal he was!

So if Wikipedia is a left-wing liberal whorehouse, and Conservapedia is an ultra-right wing, religious clusterfuck, where do fair-minded moderates go for accurate, unbiased information?

Seriously, where do we go? I’ll take my answer off the air…