With the ice caps melting and the oceans rising, the future looks grim for the next generation. If we don’t do something — and fast — human survival may soon depend on breathing through snorkels, growing gills, or battling marauding pirates over habitable land and scraps of food. Picture Mad Max meets Waterworld meets Apocalypse Now.

But I’m happy to report that America’s youth are keen to the problem and are busy coming up with inventive solutions to save all of us from the global warming apocalypse.

While walking through a climate change exhibit at the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, I came across 12 visionary ideas for solving the crisis from the fertile minds of our future leaders, scrawled on bits of paper and tacked up on a suggestion board. I can’t believe no one has thought of these before:

1. No homework. It wastes trees.

2. Less beans, less farts, less methane, less air pollution. Problem solved.

3. I will save plastic by not using condoms.

4. Ask the aliens for help.

5. Don’t wear clothes. No washing. No wasted fabric. Go naked!

6. Ride turtles.

7. Don’t go to the bathroom because it wastes the toilet.

8. Become a hippie.

9. Don’t shower. Don’t wash your hair or clothes.

10. I’ll be your shower buddy.

11. Stop making people!

12. Don’t waste paper like this!

So sleep tight, citizens, the future of the planet is in good hands.