With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the governor that day,
The media mob was gathered to hear all he had to say;
So when he spoke of Christian values, and how it made him feel,
A pall-like silence fell as they heard the whole schlemiel.

The governor, his brow with sweat, began to ramble on,
He spoke of love forbidden and waking up at dawn
He spoke of hiking up and down, the Appalachian trail,
When in his heart he knew down deep, that this was just a tale.