2009 was a year stuffed to the gills with egregious behavior from spectacularly ridiculous people. With so many crude epithets at our disposal to describe these knuckleheads, none is so apropos as the one sobriquet that aptly describes quitters, hecklers, teabaggers, extortionists, and balloon hoaxers alike: douchebags.

Given the explosion of douchiness all around us, we had to dig deep to select these profiles in ignominy, but here they are — our awards for this year’s 20 biggest douchebags in America.

If you’ve ever thought about boasting about your sex life or complaining about your boss on Facebook, you might want to think again.

We don’t if all of these are legit, but here are the funniest Facebook status updates we’ve come across this year that went horribly (and hilariously) awry.

Hey Golden Staters – did you know there’s an election less than 12 hours away? Or did you forget the latest of the annual rituals of bipartisan bed-shitting we call (perhaps too optimistically) passing the state budget? You know, that period back in February when legislators didn’t legislate; the state controller replaced tax refunds with S&H Green Stamps; one Friday a month became Furloughrific Hit the Bricks Day for state workers; and the governor who both parties can’t stand finally (and barely) got enough lawmakers to pass a half-assed budget …